So I was debating with myself if going out or not, and I was calibrating the moment and, I'm super aware in these moments of: the world, and my desire to, if we break down desire could be a desire for experiences that are simple, which is certainly most attainable, but at the same time reuniting or amassing enough power to seize it, to things we can't reach because maybe if we aren't sure that we can, it's better to not do it at all. So I'm preparing, super aware of the environment and the difference between inside and outside.

The pick-up art should enrich your life, not define it.

Then, I watch through my window, which has a veil, so they can't see me, but I can see them. So, two young ladies pass, and I'm drawn to them. And So, I said to myself, well, it's never a good idea to go out, only for that reason, only to meet women. Experts say that if you want to go to meet women, go to grab a book, and then you can also grab a telephone number out there.

But if you go out only to meet women, it's putting, almost like putting the cart before the horse. And the saying is, the pick-up art should enrich your life, not define it. So, I'm drawn into these chicks.

Presence, let that be enough

I went a couple of steps outside my house, not too far, it is a suburban area so it's super quiet, so I can be aware of everything that's happening. And then the chicks pass again. And I'm like freezing, but super aware, so I call that presence. And they notice my presence. And I'm about to say something, but they aren't so receptive, and they only pass.

But this experience is enough for me. Because I realized that I was present in the presence of her, right? So, that's the first. So, presence, check, for me, in my world. So, I rushed into my house to close the door and go out to see her, in a definite manner, because I was leaving the door open.

I was just being present, not going anywhere, but enjoying the moment. And I think I did enjoy the moment. The moment was super short, and the look felt good. And, so I rushed and closed the door and I realized that I didn't have the keys. But that didn't matter because, I could enter from, the back door of the window, or the window.

So, that's no problem, but, at a certain moment, I think, I blew it, I locked myself out, but fortunately was not, but I was aware of that also.

So, I went out, and I'm realizing that I have this ability to walk a little slower to almost like if someone wants to talk with me, I'm able to stop in the street. So, if we are rushing, we pass so many opportunities. So, I'm walking slow and I'm aware of every opportunity, almost like wanting to take every opportunity, but choosing also what opportunity I take.

I go to the small shopping center, which is beside my block. And I want to talk to some ladies, but I have this rule that 'meet her halfway at least'. I mean, if they don't show, a little interest or if they are with headphones or portable headphones, the ones that aren't even noticeable behind the hair, those are hard because you can't tell if they are wearing them.

But their interest shows the ability to be receptive. But I'm present. That's why I know, that's my check. And I let slide a few opportunities and the ladies are getting prettier. And so I walk, I keep walking. I'm, at this point I'm open to the possibility also talking to men to expand my business, to expand my account.

Appreciation, and the awareness of the distance

So I keep walking, I keep, being aware of everyone, every opportunity, even the distances, the way we move, the way we present ourselves is relevant at this point. And, so I'm aware of also my body language. I feel great at this point. I keep walking. And the more I work, the more, the less the relevance of the opportunity becomes.

The less relevant the opportunities become. So, I start to fall asleep again. I mean, a little foggy again. And I don't like that, so sometimes I stop for no reason, look around just to check with myself to say that I can, and I do it. And even if it looks weird or not, that doesn't matter at this point, because if someone considers that weird, that's an opportunity also.

So appreciation check, because appreciation is, is that, is realizing that good or bad, or One way or another way, things are good, and And I keep walking, so I, I start practicing this, this mental conversation in which, which is a resemblance of the, of the game that we used to play in the Authentic Community, in which we say:

'when you (blank) -fill the space-, I felt or I experienced (blank).

And if I play this in my mind, I start to get good at this. I start to notice nuances. So generally it starts with: when you pass I felt disappointed. But then this is a super simple experience because it's like nothing happened, right? And the disappointment vanishes quickly. But in a sense, it's the template and the reactions start getting more nuanced, and more to the point, and more real.

And then, or another experience when you say it's: when you look at your cell phone, I felt relief and say that is a little more specific because the man starts to wonder why you feel relief, why that happens. And, and if that's true, if I nail it, the questions are more productive and the questions, the subsequent questions, like maybe I wasn't attracted to her in that particular moment.

So. Oh, no wonder I was relieved, right? And sometimes it's the contrary. Sometimes she And I can't say when I blank, you blank. So, when I watch you having your headphones on, I can't say that because, it's the contrary, it's the reverse. It's when you, and then I felt an experience, and we must be super rigid in this template because otherwise it's just projections and assessments and you are fat, you are pretty, you are simple statements that don't get us anywhere.

So. This is a process of appreciation because it can be used with anyone, even with men. When you walk fast, or when you look at me, I feel a sense of opportunity. That's a vague statement because opportunity is not something I felt, so I corrected myself, I fixed the sentence, and I tried to nail it in the subsequent steps.

And, so, I felt opportunity, (rather) I felt excited, of why, why do I feel excited? Because maybe I see some opportunity to help you or something, whatever. So the statements are, are emotional, but quickly they become rational.

And then I keep walking, I keep walking, the pauses, I mean, the distance between set and set, person and person becomes longer and I start to measure the distance, not for the distance, not for the walks, steps traveled, but by the distance between person and person.

Integrity, either way is fine

So, I start to measure the world between people, not between things. And then I watch a particular lady that kind of makes this movement of looking to the other side, like, negating the direct look. But with this negation, if I notice it, I detect something. It's either she feels... I cannot assess what is going on for her, but for me, when I make this movement, it's because I'm generally confronted by something, either when I do not want to socialize at all, or I consider them too pretty, I'm out of their league or too ugly.

So, I don’t want to face them, and that's my experience, right? So, I noticed she looked away, and I felt, a sense of tenderness, and I nailed it, because I felt good after this. And then she looks at me, she looks at maybe my tenderness. And she looks away again, but this time maybe I can't remember exactly, but this is, the breakdown, but maybe a little flustered or shy.

I can't say shy because that's their experience, her experience, their business. But I noticed that. I say, this is it, this is my chance. So, at the same time, I say, I could say (talk to her) it, or I could not say it. I could take it or not, there's no fixation on saying, oh, 'this is my opportunity'. This, this is the time I have to redeem myself and blah, blah, blah. And so on and so forth.

So it's not that, it's simply, Oh, there is a chance that I can connect. It's like in that tone. And then, this happens like three or four times in a split second, and so now I'm committing, and I say, I simply say hello (she says hello back in a tender tone). I didn't even stop the pace, and she didn't stop the pace, so I noticed that she wasn't that interested in talking, so I kept walking.

And she keeps walking, but something magical happens: I think it's super simple, but it's the moment that we felt, I feel, I mean, I assume we feel the, the feeling is shared, but I have no way to prove that. So I felt the rush. I felt some rush, and I felt some. This is kind of woo-woo, but I felt relieved, and because I used that chance, I think.

But besides that, I think it was, that I say, well, I accomplished the objective of the walk, but it wasn't like that either. So I'm super happy after that. I'm irrationally happy. Like, yes, I made it. I'm awesome, as some mentors used to say. But it's not congratulations, but it's based on a tangible experience.

Nowhere to go

And this rush lasts like two blocks. I'm super high as kites, but composed, and so presence first, appreciation second, and then integrity moving towards what we want. This is the template. I assume that maybe this experience sounds ultra slow for you or slow motion or that I didn't get anywhere.

And that phrase, right? It didn't get anywhere. Why? What, what will be somewhere? Why do we measure things by that somewhere? I leave that question open and see you in the next one. Thanks for being here. Thanks for bearing with me this experience. If this was too slow, I apologize, but I hope it is instructive for you.

Check the books on amazon, see you later.