A new take on stress

Note: This is a re-upload from 2023. Minor edits

For a lot of guys talking to strangers generates a level of stress, that distance to cover is too high, it’s too much. And we contract a little bit, a reaction from the body.

The problem is: once you are stressed, nothing good can come out. So we will focus first on enjoyment, if you are doing that, and enjoyment in conversation is essential. I think, the best attempts to talk to people are the ones that once your life is running smoothly. It’s better.

The trenches

2020, writing my first book and I was following the advice from Stephen Pressfield an author focused on, resilience and writing abilities creativity, and authenticity. And he released, he was working on his stuff and he released his process on writing, he called it: In the trenches. Like the military term when waiting for, the attack and, but at the same time feeling the weight of the war, feeling the weight of the fog of war. And he was on the editorial notes sent by his editor, and he couldn’t accept that. He couldn’t accept that his book, or draft, had failed.

And so that dark moment gets even darker I could tell you at another time, but I want to say that, creative, dark moments are good, and are the best memories in the long run.

The science: Cortisol levels

Jocko Willink, among others of course. Jocko is a Navy seal that is focused on self-help and, and ownership of your emotional state and your responsibilities. And Jocko also focuses on workouts and health. And he says, among others, science backs this, is that cortisol the hormone that is released when we are stressed can’t get too high because otherwise you end up fatigued. And we don’t want to go fatigued, right? All day. So cortisol must be at, from 0 to 100, must be at 20 25%, I must say, to be an enjoyable sensation. So, if you are stressed out you are tired, but not ‘good tired’ you are tired from responsibility and trying to match a schedule to match deadlines, you might find that you are too worried about the bad outcomes, what you don’t want to happen, rather than what you want to happen.

No cold approach

If we go back to pick up, for many it’s a stressful moment. A jump into the void, into the fray, as some people say. And, and other people would say there is no cold approach. If you are enjoying your life, you rarely think about that. But, if you think about that, if you think about the jump and you want to overcome that with courage with some guts, I would say that is not the best approach. I would say that, even if you have to go to the other side, you have to enjoy your life, even indulge in certain pleasures. First, I would say coffee is a guilty or good pleasure to me, and I indulge in that. Indulgence is not bad per se. It’s an out for stress sometimes. So I must say also that many authors say that, wealth, is what we have when we are rich or something, and we share the value that is generated. Wealth is not stored. You do nothing if you’ve store it. Wealth is performed. You have to perform it in front, in the eyes of others, in front of others. And you have to play a character a little bit. So these two things can be an out if you are looking for quick solutions. So, the first task is to indulge in good quality products. Indulge like good coffee or good wine, good cheese, you name it. But you have to spend a little bit on unessential things, I must say, but that raises the quality of your life a little bit. So, the next step is to be aware even Pressfield says that the problem is the problem. The problem is not yourself. The problem is not you. The problem is the problem. Whatever you define the problem.

Sleeping cycles

And let me know if you have serious problems with sleeping cycles, with insomnia. I must say that I’m not a medical practitioner, so disclaimer, don’t take this as professional advice, but if you want to go deep from here hear me out. In any case, I think insomnia is because it’s a conceptual label that we put when we have some power over us. And we don’t want to address that thing. And we don’t want to face, that power source. And we need to have a certain schedule. We need to be at a certain hour. And our body is reacting. Our body is telling us the truth. And, and, but our minds are still engaged in that. power struggle. And so for me, there is no insomnia. There is, some energy retained. There is some misalignment between what, your body wants a jailbreak. I must say it’s the right concept. Your body is looking for a jailbreak to escape the situation. And I must say, I must ask you what wakes you up, man. What wakes you up in the morning is a good way to analyze the situation.

Are you dragging yourself out of bed?< Or are you waking up at some random moment?< Or are you scared of something?<

You have to take a look at those things. And as Stephen Pressfield says, creative panic is good. It’s a good thing. If you are in the middle of a project, of a worthwhile ptroject, of course, there is a moment of, in every enterprise, there is a death valley and in the middle of that death valley is full fear and full doubts that the project will be complete. And you, you only have to go forward and it is not a pretty moment of course. It’s like the trenches, we can go further, we can’t go back, we are in the middle, right? So, if you don’t have a creative project or creative outlet, I must say that you must find one. Find a project that keeps you awake, that keeps you tired. Good tired. This is debatable, of course, but find a good project. A good creative outlet and fun. Fall asleep exhausted, like when Todd Henry, an author used to say die empty. Not as an order, as a power struggle (with some boss), but as a thing you release and you sleep like, man, that was all that I had to give that day.

Jailbreak

So second thing I want you to do is to remember that the moment of the breakthrough is the moment of the breakdown. You have to get worse a little bit to get better. And it’s basically a release of energy. So, seeking support, and talking with someone, close to family members could be a good outlet. If you can’t find it, find it online. Specialists are everywhere. Chiropractors, Chinese medicine, Qi-gong, you name your favorite outlet and unload the energy, Unloading the energy retained could be, a good process. And that’s what I do to overcome this moment. So, reach out if you are a little trapped. Don’t stay alone. And if you are alone in the trenches, but doing something worthwhile, stay there, and keep it up. It will be remembered as the best moment later on.